war story

When i was a lad i worked in the local butchers shop. I started the day after my 15th birthday and worked there till i went to university at 19. By which time i was a big strong lad.


Anyway, my boss was dead tight and as hard as nails. Absolutely tough as old boots. Great bloke.


When he was a lad he worked for a butcher who was as tight as a gnats chuff and hard as nails as well. And miserable. I shall not say anymore about this guy. I imagine he is in the ground by now but don't know for sure. Any road up. My boss'e boss was in the army in WWII. HRE was in italy and was in some form of tank fitted with a gun and a flame thrower. Said vehicle was goiung up a road on a recconosaince job. It was tootling along when it came under small arms fire from a house. They turned the turret round and popped a high explosive shell into this house and theres lots of smoke and debris. As the dust settles there are three or four italians soldiers wobbling about in the debris with assorted injuries that tend to come with having been inside a house that has just been blown up.

Needless to say, they didn't have much fight in them and were doing their best to surrender. Unfortunately for them, our hero and his mates in the tank weren't right keen on the idea of having to cart a bunch of injured eyeties back to their lines especially when they had been shooting at them, and they still had a job to do.


So, rather than mucking up the rest of the day they decided the best thing they could do was to dispose of the problem by introducing them to the business end of mister flame thrower. Once done they tootled off on their way!

the shocking lies of ROBERT KILROY SILK.

This is the letter that dirty liar robert kilroy silk wrote to the police after i squirted him with water.


"ROBERT KILROY-SILK M.E.P. European Parliament Member for the East Midlands RegionDerbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Leicestershire, Northamptonshire, Lincolnshire and RutlandMonday 18 April 2005Mr David Coleman,Derbyshire Constabulary,Force Headquarters,Butterley HallRIPLEYDerbyshireDE5 3RSDear Mr Colemanre: Caution for premeditated assault with a bottleAs you are probably aware, I was assaulted outside Asda in Long Eaton in my constituency on Saturday by a man who smashed a bottle of water against the side of my head as I was being interviewed. The assailant ran away shouting at me, but he was pursued for several hundred yards by my colleague, the Veritas Party candidate for Amber Valley, Alex Stevenson, at great risk to the safety of his own person.The thug had previously used foul and obscene language towards me in the foyer of Asda.I was informed by the arresting officer late on Saturday evening that it was in the custody officer’s mind merely to caution the offender, because it was his first offence, he had admitted the offence and he said that he was remorseful.I do not approve of this lenient approach to yobbish, anti-social and criminal behaviour. I and my Party VERITAS believe in zero tolerance of such offences. That is the only way to restore decent standards of behaviour in public places.This was a deliberate, premeditated and cowardly attack by an adult man who should have known better. He could have caused serious injury. He should suffer the lawful consequences of his actions.The approach of your force seems to suggest that you are more concerned about the welfare of the offender than the interests of the victim. No wonder so many people have lost faith in the criminal justice system.What, indeed, is the point of the VERITAS candidate for Amber Valley putting himself in danger - and the police arresting, detaining and interviewing the offender, and me spending time giving a statement, and hours of police and witness time being expended, if all the police then do is to give the criminal a pat on the shoulder and send him on his way?So far as he and those like him are concerned he ‘got away’ with a caution. This is not a good example to set. It suggests that the Derbyshire Police force doses not take violent assaults seriously.If you do not take violent assaults seriously, can you tell me which crimes you do consider to warrant prosecution?You can be assured that if I am elected as the MP for Erewash, I will put pressure on yourself and the Home Secretary to ensure there will be zero tolerance of crime in Erewash - and that I will not be prepared to accept offender-oriented policing. Yours sincerelyRobert Kilroy-Silk M.E.P.Dictated by Mr Kilroy-Silk and signed in his absence."


Let me make myself very clear on this point. Kilroy is a liar and a big orange cunt. Kilroy wants to lock up every child who has ever used a water pistol.

The bumfun blowback incident.

Would anyone like to hear this story?

Yet another police incident

That resulted in me nearly getting arrested at the weekend.


I was with the family in the car in a supermarket carpark. I was turning left and stuck in a queue of traffic. A car came up to me a the guy beeped his little tooter and said some rude words. There wasn't anywhere to go so i gave him the dissaproving look i norally save for my 5 year old and then casually flicked him the vees.

This had an instant and noticable effect on the impatient so and so. He was a bit weasel looking and he went all sort of cross and angry.

Pleased with the response i drove away. slowly. Whilst flicking the vees again.

his knuckles went all white on the steering wheel and he followed me getting angrier and angrier all the time. I left the car pak and the guy followed me. I turned left at a roundabout and and he followed me.

I went up to anoth roundabout and he pulled alongside He was looking really angry. seething he was! Naturally i flicked him the vees.


It was at this point that the chap went absolutely crackers!

As i pulled onto the roundabout he put his foot down and tried to ram me off the road!


There was a sqeal of brakes and a roar of his engine as he tried to edge me off the roundabout. I made my exit though but unfortunately hit a red light! he swerved to miss me and mounted the kerb. Then he jumped out and opened my door and started scouting rude words like cunt and twat at me in front of my kids. HE stood holding my door open and refused to let go so i could not drive off. I got out the car and he backed up shouting at me to hit him so that he could have me for assault. He repeated this over and over. I went over to his car and opened his door which seemed to make him even more angry. His wife came and shoved me away! I told her to go away and went back to my car as he had now got more concerned i might do something to his car.

All this time he was shouting "Go on! hit me!"

his mrs, bless her was trying to calm things down and i went back to my car but got pinned against the door by the pair of them. She was pleading for sanity and he was swearing away. My kids were terrified. At last i decided i had had enough of the silly prick.


Very carefully i reached up, picked his spectacles off and threw them away.


"THATS ASSAULT!"

he bawled triumphantly! And then he started phoning the police to report the terrible crime i had committed about him. I jumped in the car and went to the local cop shop to get things straightened out.


Needless to say. nothing happened. However, if i hadn't called the cops, i could well have been arrested on account of the bullshit the pillock with no specs was giving them. What a grade A twat!