The Horrible story.
It goes like this.......
Many years ago, back in Sheffield, my big little brother was a chippie. He worked for the council and he had a work mate went by the name of Dave. Dave was a lovely lad. He had the cheekiest smile of anyone ever and a sense of humour to match it. He eventually got the boot cos him and my brother were ridning round sheffield and david was riding shotgun. Well not really shotgun, more like peashooter to be honest. Someone who was the victim of his reckless peashooetering got the van number plate and complained to the council resulting in his dismissal. I am amazed they didn't get it in the neck sooner actually. I was doing my A-levels at the time and i would be ina nd out of the hose splitting my time between the butchers where i worked and at college. My big little brother and Dave would often be at my mam and dads during worktime The works van would be parked outside and they would be inside doing a bit of "urban reconoissance", which usually involved having a nice cup of tea and a biscuit and watching videos.
Anyway. Dave told me this story.
Once upon a time, David went to school with a lad who was not too popular. It was his birthday and this lad and his "mates" got horribly lashed in town and eneded up walking home up the East Bank Road, which, if you are from sheffield, you may have fond memories of.
This lad is in a right old state and tries to go for a pee. He gets in a bit of a tangle and his trousers fall down, which was the curse of the button fly. So the poor lad starts running to catch his mates up but his trollies fall round his ankles and he takes a bit of a tumble. The poor lad is left grovelling on the floor with his arse stuck up.
From the injuries he had sustained the hospital were able to piece together the following:
(1) At somepoint, someone was nice enough to use the poor lads ring piece to put his cigarette out.
(2) At another point followinfg the cigarette injury an empty vodka and been inserted eck first up the poor chaps rectum.
(3) Presumably because the bottle would not stay in place, someone had been kind enough to give it a jolly good kick.
Ooooof! thats not the sort of thing you shrug off is it?
Anyway. The next day the wee feller wakes up in hospital in agony and having undergone anal surgery. "WHERE THE FUCKIN ELL AM AH?!!" he screams. Fortunately, his mum and dad were sat next to the bed and were able to provide him with the information.
horrible.
Many years ago, back in Sheffield, my big little brother was a chippie. He worked for the council and he had a work mate went by the name of Dave. Dave was a lovely lad. He had the cheekiest smile of anyone ever and a sense of humour to match it. He eventually got the boot cos him and my brother were ridning round sheffield and david was riding shotgun. Well not really shotgun, more like peashooter to be honest. Someone who was the victim of his reckless peashooetering got the van number plate and complained to the council resulting in his dismissal. I am amazed they didn't get it in the neck sooner actually. I was doing my A-levels at the time and i would be ina nd out of the hose splitting my time between the butchers where i worked and at college. My big little brother and Dave would often be at my mam and dads during worktime The works van would be parked outside and they would be inside doing a bit of "urban reconoissance", which usually involved having a nice cup of tea and a biscuit and watching videos.
Anyway. Dave told me this story.
Once upon a time, David went to school with a lad who was not too popular. It was his birthday and this lad and his "mates" got horribly lashed in town and eneded up walking home up the East Bank Road, which, if you are from sheffield, you may have fond memories of.
This lad is in a right old state and tries to go for a pee. He gets in a bit of a tangle and his trousers fall down, which was the curse of the button fly. So the poor lad starts running to catch his mates up but his trollies fall round his ankles and he takes a bit of a tumble. The poor lad is left grovelling on the floor with his arse stuck up.
From the injuries he had sustained the hospital were able to piece together the following:
(1) At somepoint, someone was nice enough to use the poor lads ring piece to put his cigarette out.
(2) At another point followinfg the cigarette injury an empty vodka and been inserted eck first up the poor chaps rectum.
(3) Presumably because the bottle would not stay in place, someone had been kind enough to give it a jolly good kick.
Ooooof! thats not the sort of thing you shrug off is it?
Anyway. The next day the wee feller wakes up in hospital in agony and having undergone anal surgery. "WHERE THE FUCKIN ELL AM AH?!!" he screams. Fortunately, his mum and dad were sat next to the bed and were able to provide him with the information.
horrible.
posted by Doktor Skum at 10:55 AM
14 Comments:
So this was a friend of your brother's mate Dave....?
thats how i heard the story gav!
Rest assured that if it were my lower back body behind that was so rudely invaded i would be happy to fill you in on th gory details. And provide a photo of the scars to prove it. I only have the one scar in that sort of area. To prove it i will get the wife to take a photo of it and i'll post the details.
Dok,
Have you got any nice stories concerning puppies or flowers or teddy bears?
Yeah, we want fluffy stuff Dok!
And that's not a fluffy back bottom!
i'm not sure i do fluffy chaps! Blimey, tell a nice story eh? Theres a quandry!
Would you like to know why i had stitches in my lower back body region first?
i have been having a think. It was very difficult. But i think i have come up with a story. It is about anglo american relations in the 1950s and it is about my dad and a great big american man.
Was he fluffy?
Skum, take no notice of these wussies! Don't do fluffy!
Not very fluffy to be honest, but it is a nice story in the end.
When you have a mo' would you mind having a look and kind of testingthis message board wot I made
Not that you've really been a regular on The Station (more WUM on the Tennis board) but since it's shutting I thought I'd have a punt. Needs folk to dicker with it though....
Dickering. Thought of you....
There's a mincepie for you over on the MB. Merry Christmas!
Merry christmas Skum!
xxx
Happy New Year!!!!!
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